“I’m Still Here”

Chronic Progressive Life Limiting
Four simple words
That can change one’s life
On an almost daily basis
As my illness progresses
The struggle to deal with limitations
Can be both challenging and frustrating
At present I’m battling exhaustion
Some days holding a conversation
Is more than I can manage
I find I must be discerning
Not squander my energy
Rather I must nurture and use it wisely
So if you don’t hear from me
If I’m not spending much time on social media
Please know it’s not because I don’t care
It’s because I’m so very tired
And working hard to adjust
To the ever changing challenges
That are part of living with chronic illness
I’m not unhappy
Sometimes frustrated with my disobedient body
Occasionally pissed off that a couple of hours out
Costs me a few days in bed
Nonetheless grateful for those
Who make a couple of hours out possible
I find I have much to be grateful for
The constancy of my carers and my sister
The loving acceptance of family and friends
Who make the effort to bring ‘days out’ to my home
Because they understand and they care
Yes I’m exhausted by the battle of existence
At the same time I’m grateful that ‘I’m Still Here’
Still able to live in my home
My place of peace and sanctuary

Tricia 2/2015

I used to belt this wonderful song out, but my ‘song belting’ days are done
Now I simply enjoy watching it. 🙂

▶ 3:22▶ 3:22
Jun 16, 2010 – Uploaded by Thorneycroft37
Legendary live performance at the Electric Proms 2009. Shirley’s version of this fantastic song …

▶ 3:22▶ 3:22

About triciabertram

I have written all my life. Writing helps me to make sense of a world I often don’t understand. Poetry is my supreme solace, closely followed by literature and music. When my son ended his life in 1999 I embarked on the most difficult journey of my life, my grief journey. To survive in this unknown, harsh landscape I had to write. It was for me, the only way I could even begin to move forward. Then in 2009 my darling husband died suddenly and so my journey continues. I write about other issues but because of my life experience, grief and death are continuing themes in my writing life. In our culture I believe there is a fear of death, an inability to accept the inevitability of our mortality, and this creates enormous difficulties for the bereaved and those around them. I have begun this blog in the hope I will create a small ripple in the pond of fear that is currently drowning the reality of death and grief. I will continue to skim the stones of my truth, watch them bounce, and see how many ripples I can make.

Posted on February 2, 2015, in Poems. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Heart felt poem. You have my blessings!

  2. Some days it just good “to be”…wishing you all the best.

  3. Glad to see that you’re still here! Take care my friend.

  4. I am so pleased you are still here my lovely inspirational friend. You teach me much about acceptance and the concept of ‘not needing/wanting’. Love you to bits xxx❤️xxx

  5. I am always so glad to see you’ve posted, Tricia, and your body may have betrayed you, but your strong spirit is still there. You ARE still here–great song, by the way. 🙂 You impress me with the way you find reasons to express gratitude. I think of you often, my friend. ox

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: