Twinkly Lights

I’ve decided to reblog this poem because it was inspired by i’m getting a lot of visitors today as a result of this wonderful blog and I want to share just an inkling of what this blog, Timaree, Jodi and precious Caemon, bring to my life.

Writing the roads of grief

Twinkly  Lights 

My discontent with the dark
Had returned
No bed for me
I can’t hold back the night
But I can refuse to sleep
In the too big
Empty softness
Place of our last laugh
Final silly cuddly conversation
I shut the drapes before
The coming of the ‘twinkly lights’
There shall be no night
Instead lamp light
On the dull days of 
My confused heart
Missing my husband my son my life
The pendulum of grief
Back to previous pain
I don’t understand why
Exhausted reliving mourning’s mystery 
No energy left to try
To make sense of unwanted night
Endless gritty eyed days
On swelling legs
Alcohol or lack of elevation
Who knows
Who cares
Resting in my chair
Holding my special bear
My iPad pings a message
The musical link broke me open
Jack Johnson – All At…

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About triciabertram

I have written all my life. Writing helps me to make sense of a world I often don’t understand. Poetry is my supreme solace, closely followed by literature and music. When my son ended his life in 1999 I embarked on the most difficult journey of my life, my grief journey. To survive in this unknown, harsh landscape I had to write. It was for me, the only way I could even begin to move forward. Then in 2009 my darling husband died suddenly and so my journey continues. I write about other issues but because of my life experience, grief and death are continuing themes in my writing life. In our culture I believe there is a fear of death, an inability to accept the inevitability of our mortality, and this creates enormous difficulties for the bereaved and those around them. I have begun this blog in the hope I will create a small ripple in the pond of fear that is currently drowning the reality of death and grief. I will continue to skim the stones of my truth, watch them bounce, and see how many ripples I can make.

Posted on August 2, 2014, in Poems. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. So so good to read this again Tricia. The first time I read it I was left with a bucketful of gratitude; the same has happened today. Bless Caemon’s brave little heart, bless his parents and bless you my friend for the strength you give me to help fight my battles and for all your love ❤️ Xxx

    • Dear Christine, your words mean so much, I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to respond. Every July and August I break open, and I have to focus on stitching myself together again. Then there are the days I just sit in my brokenness.
      I’m so grateful you are part of my life. I love you so very much and wish I could express just how deeply I care about you and how much your loving support means to me. ❤ xx

  2. I am continualy amazed at the feelings you draw from me. You are a very brave writer who has an incredible gift for telling and sharing your heart.
    Today your heart touched my heart. All my love polly

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