Fickle Feelings

Fickle Feelings – For my dear friend, Christine, at

She’s surrounded by much
that is wonderful
and she is grateful –
most of the time.
Then there are the times
Frustration packs Gratitude’s bags,
chucks them on the front verandah
and tells Gratitude
to take herself off for awhile.
There are days
Frustration needs time
to just be,
without Gratitude telling her
how she should feel.
Gratitude enjoys her time away
free to frolic, meditate, contemplate.
Frustration too spends time
meditating, contemplating, but
Frustration’s not a frolicker
she’s more the kicking and screaming type,
and my how she loves to swear.
Eventually Frustration welcomes Gratitude home
and they move on with life
in their sometimes tenuous,
mostly amicable
marriage of convenience.

Tricia 1/2014

About triciabertram

I have written all my life. Writing helps me to make sense of a world I often don’t understand. Poetry is my supreme solace, closely followed by literature and music. When my son ended his life in 1999 I embarked on the most difficult journey of my life, my grief journey. To survive in this unknown, harsh landscape I had to write. It was for me, the only way I could even begin to move forward. Then in 2009 my darling husband died suddenly and so my journey continues. I write about other issues but because of my life experience, grief and death are continuing themes in my writing life. In our culture I believe there is a fear of death, an inability to accept the inevitability of our mortality, and this creates enormous difficulties for the bereaved and those around them. I have begun this blog in the hope I will create a small ripple in the pond of fear that is currently drowning the reality of death and grief. I will continue to skim the stones of my truth, watch them bounce, and see how many ripples I can make.

Posted on January 13, 2014, in Poems. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Oh Tricia this is just wonderful! And exactly what I needed. I am printing this out and keeping it somewhere where I can see it.

    You are the best support I have my lovely fiend because you simply know. Its that permission to be able to kick and scream that Im sometimes reluctant to give to myself because all the “shoulda” get in the way. Thank you, thank you thank you.

    Love you to bits
    ❤ Xx

    • Dear Christine, I’m so pleased I could give you a little of what you needed on one of your most difficult of days.

      You hold me up in so many ways. I know no one else who understands the health issues, the constant frustration and fight to retain a semblance of independence, quite like you do. I sense it’s because although our illnesses are different, our journeys are similar. Sometimes when someone tells me I should cheer up, try harder, or if only I did this or that my life would be easier, instead of smacking them one – my initial inclination – I think to myself, Christine understands, and it makes such a difference.

      I love you beyond words
      Tricia ❤ xx

  2. Tricia! This is gold! I absolutely love this from the first word to the last.

    “Then there are the times Frustration packs Gratitude’s bags, chucks them on the front verandah and tells Gratitude to take herself off for awhile.” So perfect I can’t stand it. LOL!

    Don’t I wish this could be put on a little card and every time someone wants to talk me out of a feeling, in particular frustration, I’d whip out the card and just hand it to them.

    You know just how to say “it” and be real! This “perfect bite” just made my day. oxo Debra

    • Debra I’m so pleased this resonated with you. I’m so lucky to have my small band of special people who ‘get it’. Because the world is teeming with those who don’t.

      Please feel free to print it out and use it however you like. When my printer is re inked I’m going to print myself a copy and display it prominently. And if one of life’s Negative Nellies come to visit I shall ever so casually pass it to them and say – Oh by the way, have I shown you this. Coz sometimes I’m naughty. 🙂

      Thanks as always, Debra, for your warm words of encouragement.
      Tricia. xx

  3. What a lovely tribute to honest feelings–thank you!! I’m a big proponent of Gratitude–establishing it as a habit has served me well; however there are “days”–and this current winter is one of them–when I’m just very growl-y with frustration and disillusionment. My condolences for your losses–and isn’t writing a very great talent to have. It is both my escape, and a tool/vehicle to move me forward during dark seasons. God bless you. PS, I’m a great fan/friend of Christine–she has a marvelous spirit!

    • Hello Mirada,
      Thank you so much for stopping by and for your lovely comment. Any friend of Christine’s is welcome here. And yes writing is wonderful. Words are my constant companions, I’d be lost without them.
      Take care

  4. I’m so amazed that you knew just how to help Christine on this day. I had no idea…. I wanted to help but didn’t know how. You’re a true friend indeed and you need to teach me your tricks! xxx

    • Dear Pooky, I have no tricks 🙂 I just write what I’d want someone to write to me. Sometimes I can’t look on the bright side, on those days I don’t want to be cheered up, I just need to be heard and acknowledged. There’s something so comforting for me in being told it’s ok if I’m having a bad day. Sometimes without realising, people can deny our reality. Often people truly want to help, but sometimes people can’t deal with our suffering so they use words that diminish it, without realising they may be hurting rather than helping.
      Hope this makes sense.
      Tricia xx

  5. And I love ou beyond words too Tricia. ❤ Xxx

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