Monthly Archives: December 2012

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Blaze

Blaze
It’s summer and I burn
Not with todays high temperature
No 
I burn with longing
In two days
Christmas will be here again
My 14th without my son
My 4th without my husband
But hey
Who’s counting
I’ve got this covered
Wrote a poem
Christmas in Tricia Town
Trickling tears with an ‘up yours’ ending
Everything’s fine
Nothing to see here folks
I even added a naughty link 
Send ’em on their way laughing
 
I’m fine spending Christmas day alone 
It’s my choice
Works for me
Because…….
 
Witnessing what is
Eviscerates me 
Impales me on the picket fence
Of what can no longer be
Yesterday my controlled burn
Broke through containment lines
For a few weeks
I’d been chasing spot fires
Sleepless nights
Refusing to leave the house
Painted smile
False conversations
When I realised the sickly stench
Was my unwashed body
I stopped fighting 
Walked into the flames 
Yes it’s summer and
I burn
 
Tricia 12/12

Purple Ink

Purple Ink
 
There are days
When a keyboard won’t cut it
I need the tactile comfort
Of pen and paper
As I write the stitches
To close life’s wounds
 
And then there are my purple ink days
Letters that can never be answered
Precious intimacies never to be shared
Private pain
Previous joy
These are the times
 
When only purple ink will do
 
Tricia 12/12

Christmas in Tricia Town

 

Christmas in Tricia Town
 

I began to think 

This year it would be easier
My grief is a gentler thing
I’ve lived the lessons of loss
Maybe I’m ready to rejoin the joy 
I experienced the almost forgotten pull
Of the ‘before’ Christmases 
Wandering around a big shopping centre
Singing loudly along with Christmas songs
That many loathed
But I delighted in
Selecting gifts for those I love
Even though the two most important people in my life
No longer have need of gifts
Nor the food I lovingly prepared for them
There’ll be no one sneaking the pork crackling
As soon as my back is turned
The tears began to trickle
As I realised
There’ll be no pork with crunchy crackling in my home
No dried apricot and sage stuffed turkey
No roast potatoes soft on the inside
Crisp and crunchy on the outside
My shopping centre wandering days are done
Many days I don’t make it up the driveway to the letter box
Some days my body struggles to toss a simple salad
It’s time to accept
My christmas cooking days are done
As I slowly come to terms
With my increasing limitations
I’m learning death doesn’t own grief
It appears loss has more lessons for me
When it gets too tough 
I wander via the keyboard of my iPad
And browse the snippets on YouTube
Today it’s the outrageous Eric Idle 
Who brings a little joy to my world
With his wonderful song 
Fuck Christmas
If you want to hear the song
That made this sad woman smile
Just wander over to You Tube
But if the title offends you
Maybe Christmas in Tricia Town 
Isn’t for you.
 
Tricia 12/12
 
 
 

A Book Spine Poem

20121218-002919.jpg

Sailing Alone Around the Room
Longing for My Child
eating fire

I composed this poem last Mother’s Day. I’m posting it today for the parents of the massacred children.

(I posted this from my iPad and for some reason that I don’t understand the comments are not showing here, so thank you to those who commented on A Book Spine Poem)