Monthly Archives: November 2012

My Life in Freefall

 

My Life in Freefall
 
I’ll never witness The Northern Lights
Thanks to the wonder of the internet
I’m able to see amazing photos
I’d like to say that’s enough for me
But it isn’t
 
I’ll never hold my husband in my arms again
We knew a love that few experience
I have so many precious memories
I’d like to say that’s enough for me
But it isn’t
 
I’ll never hear again the words  
Oh I do love you ma 
For 26 years my son loved me unconditionally
I’d like to say that’s enough for me 
But it isn’t
 
I’ll never hold a grandchild  in my arms
Smell the newborn scent that emanates from the fontanelle
I have precious great nieces and nephews
I’d like to say that’s enough for me
But it isn’t
 
I’ll never run again or slowly sink into a bath
Chronic illness a thieving bitch I know well
In my reverie I still dance naked in the ocean
I’d like to say that’s enough for me
But it isn’t
 
I’ve the loving selfless assistance of extended family and friends
Combined with psychological and medical support
Without help I’d struggle to live alone in my home
I’d like to say this loving assistance and support is everything to me 
And it is
 
Tricia 11/12
 
Freefall is a style of writing taught by Barbara Turner Vessalago.  It’s a method of writing without censoring, following each thread and allowing it to take you to places you might otherwise never venture. 
 
This poem,  My Life In Freefall, is not about rapid decline, rather it’s an exercise in downward movement,  allowing words to fall freely onto the page and take me to a place of acknowledgement, depth, understanding and gratitude.

No More Silent Screams

No More Silent Screams
 
Voices growing in number and volume
Antipodeans are getting tough
A Royal Commission into Catholic sexual abuse
Lies and excuses – we’ve heard enough
 
“The victims won’t want to testify” they say
When so many clearly do
“I wasn’t there – I didn’t know”
Obfuscations cram up in the queue
 
The Catholic Church wants to deal with this
“It’s best for the victims” they say
Meanwhile paperwork and priests go missing
While they possibly pray we’ll all go away
 
The movement of paedophile priests
On the chessboard of the Catholic Church
Demeans the suffering of raped children
Facilitates recidivism – leaves justice usurped
 
If the hierarchy have nothing to hide
Throw open all files on sexual abuse
Allow a Royal Commission to fully investigate
Victims are further abused by each petty excuse
 
We’d not allow the family of a rapist
To investigate and counsel victims of the rape
Yet people traumatised by priests of the Catholic Church
Are encouraged to allow church members to determine their fate
 
I was physically not sexually abused
Nonetheless I was emotionally damaged by the church
As this controversy continues
I’m constantly revisited by my aged hurt
 
I can’t begin to imagine
The suffering of those whose lives have been 
Traumatised on a daily basis
Life for many a long silent scream
 
It’s way past time for justice
For those who live daily with their abuse
Nothing less than a Royal Commission
There is no appropriate religious or political excuse
 
Tricia Bertram 12/11/2012