Today was my 42nd wedding anniversary, my 3rd without my Rod. I tried to make it a day of celebration but sorrow had its way with me.
I lunched alone
In a restaurant that was not “ours”
Because “ours” would have been
Too painful to contemplate.
As I celebrated our love
And our life together
Your absence was a thirst
I tried to quench with alcohol
Cosmopolitan to begin
Followed by 3 bloody mary oysters
Soused in vodka
Then white wine from Western Australia
And finally Butterscotch Schnapps with coffee
The food looked delicious
But my tastebuds were deadened
No amount of alcohol
Could ease the missing of you
On this our 42nd wedding anniversary.
Lunch is over
I am left with a headache
Nauseous at the thought of alcohol
Knowing there is no answer for absence