JOURNEY BEYOND WISHING
Grief
An exhausting experience
Tossed in a churning ocean of why and what if
We grieve for so many things
Life is full of little losses
Then there are the monumental losses
The ones that can never be fully comprehended
These we move through hour by hour
Moment by moment
We travel these uncharted seas
In whatever direction our being leads us
No markers to guide us
At times our inner voice the only means of navigation
Death is a journey beyond wishing
The agony of possibility
Combined with impossibility
The never knowing
How to accept the never knowing
And the sense of loss
The ache within the ache
Longing
The ache that defies description
How to survive the not wanting to survive
Those angry steps that tempt fate
“Come and get me you bastard fate”
At times beyond caring
Seeking only oblivion
Reaching for anything to ease this pain
Wanting darkness
Not light
With light we see what is behind us and before us
Often not ready for the seeing yet somehow understanding
Open eyes and an open heart necessary if we are to move forward
With seeing can come new waves of pain
Facing the truth of what was and what is
Through a fragmented filter
This viewing of things in segments can help one survive
Feeling the pain of what is known
And then the unknown
Those precipitous cliffs of impossibility
The acceptance of questions without answer
One of life’s hardest lessons
Often wanting just five more minutes
So the journey continues
Tricia 01/06